The “Ugly”: The Biz Lib Etiquette

After several weeks of focusing on the “good” and pumping the tires of the Alberta School of Business I thought it was about time to divulge the “bad” and the “ugly”. Prospective students and current students alike deserve to know that not everyday is just peachy at the Alberta School of Business. Pat Benetar was actually pretty close: we are young, and the Library is a battlefield.

Leading into my fifth year of writing final exams I have had to spend a few hours in the library (hard to believe, I know).  With arguably the loudest stomach (documented as sounding like an old rickety garage door opening) in the School of Business, it will not surprise anyone that I’ve had people glare me out of the library. Although I have some sympathy for the students my stomach growls distract, imagine trying to maintain your focus as the guy generating these sounds!

Studying Set-up

With finals quickly approaching, Business students are spending more and more time studying in the Winspear Business Library.  This time leading up to exams can be very stressful for some students. When stress levels are high, people become more irritable (I’m not really a doctor, this is strictly based on my personal experiences).  If people applaud when you leave the Business library, it’s probably a good idea to take the following advice to heart.

Through observing my peers, I have created the following list called “The Unwritten Rules to the Winspear Library.” Who knows, maybe someday after the School of Business recommends that I graduate, these rules will be posted.

1)   No scantily clad celeb backgrounds on laptops:

Before you dive into the books take the picture of Megan Fox or Channing Tatum off your laptop background. Sure, this seems like a pretty “cool” idea at home having scantily clad celebs always looking back at you, but not that appropriate for learning about income tax in Canada (After income tax amounts are calculated, non-refundable tax credits are deducted from the tax payable… duh).

2)   Combination of a Runny Nose and Loud Cough is Strictly Prohibited:

Everyone hates having a nose that won’t stop running on those brisk December mornings. Or maybe you are the student who lost a few hours of sleep because of a loud cough. All part of Edmonton winters, but when a runny nose is combined with a loud cough, stay out of the library. Your stressed out cubicle neighbor in the Winspear will be friendly and smiling early in the day. But, by the second hour, and no promising signs of nasal relief, your cubicle neighbor will lose it.

3)   No Loud… Anything

We all know the kid. The loud typer, loud eater, loud gum chewer, loud mint sucker, loud breather, loud music listener through headphones, and the loud thinker. These students are just loud. Tone it down, or maybe think about finding a spot to study where your loudness is drowned by white noise. I recommend Education basement. The sound of hand bells near Christmas and choir practice in April makes any loud person seem quiet.

4)   Silent Cell Phone Only

If you anticipate your iPhone lighting up like Las Vegas, use the silent mode. Your cell phone vibrating will not only make the guy next to you feel inadequate that the girl from his marketing class hasn’t texted back because his presentation on IMC (integrated marketing communications) sucked, but will also annoy people who can hear it rattling off of the table. Everyone appreciates silent mode, keeps the morale in the Business library up.

5)   No Quiet Discussion

There is no such thing as quiet discussion. Whispers carry across the entire Business library. Unfortunately, we are all guilty of this and are all victimized by quiet discussion over final exam season.

6)   Minimize Loud Sighs

School is hard. Everyone is in the same boat. Do it for the student next to you, sigh quietly.


Tuna is cat food. Tuna has a distinct smell that can throw a kid off of his/her studies for the next few hours. Tuna can make the most diligent students leave the library and procrastinate for the rest of the day at home. Tuna causes kids to fail Finance 301.


If my stomach sounds like the garburator in your kitchen over the upcoming weeks, I will do my part and stay out the Winspear Business Library. Now, you do your part! Let’s pass our finals as a team.

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4 Responses to The “Ugly”: The Biz Lib Etiquette

  1. Anonymous says:

    Tuna is delicious!

  2. “Sam’s 8 Commandments”. Well done, Mr. Dean. Consider joining the Lazy Faire team yet 😉

    • Samuel Dean says:

      I would be more than happy to write a few pieces for the Lazy Faire squad. Perhaps over the Christmas season, you (and the EIC) could give me a few assignments! Investigative reporting?

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